Crazy Trucker

Another day, another truck stop, another night spent alone
Another week, another road trip, will I ever see home?
Another ten miles to Dayton, oh what will I do?
I guess I'll run people over... and shoot some folks too

They paid me to carry just a half-load of milk
So there's room in the back for explosives
I got a bottle of stuff from some guy in Iran
And the Internet says it's corrosive
And I lost both my arms and my feet back in 'nam
So I'm holding the wheel with my face
I might have to kill everyone else on the road
Just to get to New York at this pace

chorus :

I'm a crazy trucker with a 40-ton rig
Got a bomb on the back but I'm speeding
Got to get all this milk to New York by tonight
So there's no time for sleeping or eating
And if you get in my way
You can eat my grenade
I've got twenty right under my seat
I'm a crazy trucker, got to get to New York, and I don't take well to defeat 

I bought a gun back in Texas, it fits on the dash
I only use it for knocking out tires
Except for one guy who cut me off in Detroit
So I napalmed his car and I fired
And there was one other guy in Topeka I think
I don't even know what he did wrong
But his car's in a lake, and he's tied to my truck
And I said he could help with my song
(...some yelling...)

[repeat chorus]

Well I napalmed the road about a half a mile back
That'll slow down the cops for a while
Then I blew up a bridge with a missile I stole
And I laid down some mines just for style
I better shoot down that plane it's a little too close
Whoops... it was just holding mail!
Did I mention I'm crazy?  I'm _totally_ nuts!
Pass the PCP and ginger ale

[repeat chorus]